


we are more than what is written for us

by rose_gardens



Series: Mikannie Week 2020 [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Ambiguous/Open Ending, F/F, Gen, Good Parent Grisha Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman-centric, Nude Modeling, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Soulmates, Spitefic, amatonormativity, but the aftermath is happy i promise, they get together afterwards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:00:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27339076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rose_gardens/pseuds/rose_gardens
Summary: Mikasa Ackerman was born without a soulmate timer. She grew up terrified of being alone, abandoned when her friends found their soulmates. Apparently, she's the soulmate of a nude model she met at an art class, but she knows that she can't possibly giver her what she needs.Or maybe it doesn't matter.Mikannie Week Day 5: Soulmates/Artist
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Mikannie Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1981510
Comments: 2
Kudos: 82





	we are more than what is written for us

**Author's Note:**

> So most of the time I really dislike soulmate AUs, especially ones that neglect the existence of aromantics and polyamorous people. Well, fuck that. None of the characters in this are explicitly aro (the no-soulmate part is more of a metaphor), but the message still stands: you can fall in love more than once, you can date even if you aren't attracted to your partner in the "right" way, hell, you can even reject the whole concept of love. You are a whole being, with or without romance.

Mikasa didn't have a soulmate timer. 

Even from a young, sheltered perspective, she knew that there was something wrong with her. Her parents were soulmates. Everyone in the movies had soulmate timers. Everyone at school showed off their timers to one another and gossiped about when they'd meet their other half. 

But Mikasa did not have that timer on her wrist. 

Her mother had assured her that there was nothing wrong with her. 

"You are so brilliant and kind, Mikasa," she said. "It shouldn't matter if you don't have a soulmate. We'll still love you."

Her father had suggested that there was a purpose for her lack of a timer. 

"Maybe you weren't meant to have a soulmate," he said. "That's alright, I think - maybe you're something wonderful."

Her parents' words were comforting, but it didn't ease the sting of her peers' comments. 

As the years went on, Mikasa learned to hide her lack of soulmate timer. She wore long sleeves, and changed the topic when anyone started talking about soulmates with her. 

Her parents weren't even around anymore to give her soft affirmations. They died when she was nine. 

Her adoptive family was nice enough. Carla and Grisha were caring and in love. And Eren - he was like her. She found out a few weeks after being adopted. Mikasa had whispered her secret to him in the dead of night. And Eren had told her he was in the same situation. This thing bonded them together. Neither Mikasa nor her new brother had a soulmate timer. They were two anomalies, two lone half-formed individuals. They could be freaks together against the world. 

Eren's friend Armin had a timer, but he never viewed Eren or Mikasa as wrong or broken. He was intrigued by them. He borrowed books from the library and searched online for any mention of people without soulmates or timers. 

Mikasa liked having a friend, but there was still the ever-present dread of his timer. Armin had five years on his wrist when she met him. He only had five years until he met his soulmate, his other half. And then he wouldn't feel the need to be with Mikasa or Eren. It was the thing that always happened, in the books and movies - when you meet your soulmate, they are your everything. You don't need anyone else, because you have a soulmate. Friends were just things you kept in the meantime.

Mikasa tried not to let her secret bother her. Even in a world that revolved around a thing she may not ever find, she could still live. 

Perhaps.

\--

"To break the rules, we must first learn them," the art teacher said. She was an eccentric older woman, who wore a different colourful dress to each lesson. Today she wore a green and grey shapeless dress, and large green plastic earrings. 

Mikasa had taken up art classes after graduating high school. She wasn't any good, but that was beside the point. It was a distraction from life. 

This week they were drawing nude portraits. A model was coming in for them. Apparently, according to the guy who sat a row across from Mikasa, the model was some girl who did mixed martial arts with him. 

"A real bitch," he said to the punk next to him. Mikasa pretended not to hear that. 

"You must study the human form first, before you transform it in your art. To know the complexities of life-"

The teacher was cut off when the storeroom door swung open. All eyes went to the girl who entered - she was short, blond, and sort of looked like Avril Lavigne. All she wore was an oversized dusty pink shirt. Her hair fell over her face, the way shy girls in junior high would style it when they wanted to be ignored. She looked totally unbothered.

"Ah, here comes our model for today," the teacher said, clasping her hands together. "Come, take a seat."

The model sauntered over to the couch in front of the easels and sat down unceremoniously. She crossed her arms and looked over at the art teacher, before crossing taking off her shirt.

"Our model has agreed to pose for us until three PM, so take as long as you need," the teacher said. Mikasa picked up a graphite pencil, and took a look at the model to get an idea of how she looked.

It should be noted that nude portraits are about the least sexual naked experience, second only to doctor's visits. 

The model sat boredly on the couch, occasionally checking her nails or the inside of her wrist, where her timer would be. Mikasa tried to catch a glimpse of the number out of curiosity, but the model kept it safely guarded. Better for it. It was none of her business.

After an hour, the teacher instructed everyone to stretch and take a break. The model got up off the couch, shrugging on her shirt. 

Mikasa went over to the tap to fill her glass of water. The model did as well. She stood in line after her, waiting to use the tap. 

When she turned around, full glass in hand, the model was standing directly behind her. Mikasa nearly tripped over her. 

"Watch it," Mikasa hissed. She glared at the model, who glared back with an icy stare. They held it until Mikasa was back at her easel, and she turned away. 

She took a sip from her water, and looked over the portrait so far. It wasn't _that_ good, Mikasa thought sheepishly, but it was alright. The proportions seemed okay. She hadn't drawn the model's face yet, though. She couldn't draw faces well.

The model went back to her seat, getting back into position. The art teacher ended the break soon after, sending the artists back to their drawings. 

Mikasa kept looking back at the model for reference. Each time she looked up, the model's gaze was elsewhere, not bored as she was before the break. One time, when Mikasa looked up to get a visual for the model's face, and found her looking directly at her. The model looked away immediately, but there had been a brief moment where they had locked eyes. Mikasa suddenly felt very hot and flustered, so she loosened her scarf. 

"Five minutes left!" The teacher called, as Mikasa had started shading. She'd done the main parts of the figure - she'd gotten out of drawing the model's eyes by hiding it behind a bang, which was what the model's style sort of looked like anyway. If she got a good idea of where the light and shadow fell on the model, she could probably take the drawing home and finish it before next week.

**[Annie is model, gets painted.]**

"Hey!"

Mikasa turned around to see the model behind her. She was dressed now, in a baggy jumper and jeggings. Her hair had been messily tied up. She stopped in front of Mikasa, and pulled up her sleeves. 

"What is it?" Mikasa asked. The model tucked some hair behind her ear.

"You're my soulmate," she responded frankly. She held out her arm for Mikasa to see - their only mark was the colon that was left behind after the timer ran out.

Mikasa stood in shock. "You have the wrong person," she answered, trying to sound unsurprised.

"Well, it's not that punk boy, and I've met everyone else in that class," the model said impatiently, putting a hand on her waist. "You're the only person it _can_ be."

"I don't-"

Mikasa was cut off. The model pulled a slip of paper out of her hoodie pocket, and handed it to Mikasa. "I have to catch a bus," she announced, and ran off. 

With butterflies in her stomach, Mikasa pocketed the paper and went to her car.

\--

The paper contained a string of numbers, and a message. _Call me - Annie._ Mikasastared at the note for a very long time, sitting in her car in the Jaegers' driveway. The model - Annie - couldn't be right about being Mikasa's soulmate. Because wouldn't Mikasa know if she was? Wouldn't she have a timer too? Maybe... she did have a soulmate after all, and she'd just been messed up at birth.

Mikasa blinked away tears. She put the note back in her pocket and stared out the front of the car window, into the driveway. At that moment, Eren came out the side door with a garbage bag in hand. He opened the bin, and dumped in the bag.

And then there was the Eren dilemma. If Mikasa did have a soulmate, that meant her brother would be all alone. She'd move in with her soulmate and Eren would be all alone, and she didn't want that. 

Eren caught sight of Mikasa, and gave her a wave. She smiled weakly as she got out of the car.

"Hey," she said in greeting.

"Art class good?" Eren asked. His hair was messy, like he'd just got out of bed. He sounded tired as well.

"It was... interesting," Mikasa answered. 

Eren seemed satisfied. "You wanna get drinks later?" He asked, changing the subject. "This club they built in the old bookstore. I wanna check it out."

"No," Mikasa said. She didn't like going out. 

"Oh. Right." Eren shuffled his feet, shoving his hands in his jean pockets.

"Well... Have fun," Mikasa said, adjusting her bag strap. "I'm going inside." 

Eren stood in the driveway, watching her as she went inside their house. 

The living room was empty when Mikasa came in. She could hear humming from the kitchen - Carla, singing her favourite tune. It comforted Mikasa, even a little. She did not go into the kitchen to greet Carla. It would be awkward. Instead, Mikasa opted to go upstairs to her room where she could be in peace.

Mikasa dumped her bag on the floor, and sat on her bed. She pulled out her phone, and the note Annie had given her. Out of curiosity - sheer curiosity - she typed in the phone number.

_hey, this is mikasa. from the art class._

Her finger hovered over the send button. Her breath caught as she thought about sending it. There was a jumping feeling in her stomach. 

Send. 

She tapped it, and the text bubble popped up. _Release_. She breathed out. Mikasa tossed her phone aside, and lay down on her bed. She stared at the ceiling, thinking about what she had just done, and what it meant. 

Her phone buzzed. Mikasa sat up almost immediately, checking her messages. 

_nice name  
japanese?_

Mikasa's heart raced as she texted back:

_yeah. my mother was japanese._

_ok_

Annie's response was underwhelming. 

_"ok?" is that all?_

_what do you want me to say_

_well aren't we soulmates? shouldn't you ask me questions about myself?_

_that s what i m doing  
so mikasa  
what s your fav colour_

Mikasa paused. Nobody had ever asked her what her favourite colour was. She'd never thought about it before.

 _pink_ , she responded. _what's yours?_

 _don t have one_ came Annie's response. _blue ig_

Mikasa tried to think of a question. It should have been easy - she knew nothing about her supposed soulmate.

_where do you work?_

_convenience store  
you know that place on george_

_yeah.  
I work part time at kmart.   
where are you going to college next year?_

_i m not going to college_

_oh_

_i m just not interested in higher education_

_I have a sports scholarship for a state uni. It's not far away from here._

_nice_

_do you have any siblings?_

_no  
maybe  
i wouldn t know_

_oh._

_do you_

_One. my brother Eren.  
Well, adopted._

_i was adopted too  
i haven t met my bio parents  
i don t want to  
anyway what s your favourite food_

Mikasa texted Annie long into the night. She was good to talk to, even if she was bad at conversation. Mikasa didn't tell her about not having a timer, which made her feel guilty. But Annie was so nice, and Mikasa liked having someone to talk to. She didn't want to break the truth to her.

Mikasa woke up early the next day. 6:12, according to her alarm clock. She decided to get up. She wouldn't be able to go back to sleep again.

Her adoptive father was already awake, sitting at the kitchen table and flicking through a newspaper. Grisha Jaeger was a doctor. He'd been disappointed that neither Eren or Mikasa wanted to follow in his footsteps, but tried not to show it. 

"Ah, Mikasa," he said, putting down his newspaper and smiling. "Did you sleep well? We didn't see you for dinner last night."

"I was tired," she said. She took a seat at the table as well, pulling out the chair. It screeched against the tiles. "And I was talking to someone."

"Oh?" Grisha looked intrigued. "A friend?"

"Maybe. She said I was - that I was her soulmate," Mikasa admitted quietly. "Because her timer went off when she met me."

Grisha was quiet. 

"I don't want to hurt her," Mikasa continued. "If she's not my soulmate, how could I make her happy? I couldn't be what she needs."

"Mikasa," Grisha began, softly, "Carla and I have been happily married for over twenty years. I love her, more than anything. And she isn't my soulmate."

Mikasa looked up in shock. _Carla wasn't-?_ "But you're..." _Happy. In love. How?_

"I met my soulmate a long time ago. We married straight away, had a-" Grisha shook his head, a grim expression. "She died. I met Carla a few years later. I was her soulmate, she said. I was hesitant to start another relationship, but we've been together for this long, we have a son together, and everything is perfect. I felt guilty for years, because I thought I could never love Carla in the way she loved me, but... what I'm trying to say is that this whole soulmate thing isn't all it's cracked up to be. There are people who fall in love with others, with a person who isn't their soulmate, and there are some who don't fall in love with their soulmate at all. If you want to be with this girl, then why not?" 

"I-" Mikasa had no words. Carla and Grisha were one of the happiest couples she'd seen. And if they weren't soulmates, then maybe...

Mikasa spent a lot of that day staring wistfully out windows, distracted. There was a bubbly feeling in her chest, that made her feel lighter than air. There was also a heavy feeling that came about every time Mikasa thought about what she wanted to do.

The messenger app was open on her phone, a message half-typed. Annie was nice. Mikasa didn't want to give up her relationship with her. She wasn't yet sure what she wanted that relationship to be - a friendship, or a romance, or something else - but Mikasa enjoyed being with her. And she wanted to be truthful with Annie. 

_I want to tell you the truth_ , the half-written text read. _Annie, I like you, but you're not my soulmate. I might be yours, but I've never had a timer on my wrist. If you don't want to be with me anymore, I understand that._

Mikasa opened her phone again, and stared at it. She could just backspace, delete the message, and tell Annie later. But she wanted Annie to know. She should know.

Her thumb hovered over the send button. Mikasa's heart raced.

_Message sent._

_Seen 1:25._

_Annie liked 1 message._


End file.
